Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Romancing Sinners With Grace
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
The story I'm about to tell you is a story about a love story, a love story of how Grace is romantic, and how she has captivated me with her beauty.
Over two years ago I fell madly in love with a woman, her hair was brunette and long and beautiful, her eyes were bright and her voice was sweet like honey; she moved her body like a rose dancing in the wind, and her heart was as sweet as sugar. We romanced through the summer, dancing to no music, and laughing to no jokes. Our love was unbreakable, or so it seemed, we were the sweetest of couples. For nearly a year we were together, we boasted in each others love, and were the couple that everyone was jealous of, I've never felt more alive.
Until one day, I left her, her beauty was still mesmerizing, and her ways still lovely, but I for some reason found beauty in other living. I left her to herself, her love for me never left, but I didn't care, I wanted to do things alone. I cheated on her, lied to her, and went my own ways. I dated other girls whose beauty was fake, and their love was conditional, I never felt love the way I did with Her.
What I didn't know was that the entire time I was betraying her, breaking promises I made to her before, and being a scum I never was, she continued to love me. Her love for me was so great, she never took another lover, she waited, and waited, and in her heart knew I would come back and one day be together again.
An entire year pasted that we were separated. I had been with many other lovers, I was broken, I became an addict, I smoked, I was a mess, and she was still as beautiful as ever. I came to a point were I was broken, I was alone, and I missed love. I felt shame and never thought She would ever want to be with me again. I cried for days in my bed, missing Her, and wanting Her back.
It came to the point where I was so broken that I had nothing to lose, I called her, and before I knew it she was standing in front of my door. I opened the door and there she was, crying with her gorgeous smile stretching from ear to ear. Her hair was messy, yet elegant, it appeared as if she dropped everything She was doing to come see me. I began to apologize for everything when She embraced me and told me to hush. I could feel her tears dripping down her cheek onto my shoulder and I held her as tight as I could.
She didn't let me go for hours, and She repeated these words over and over again; "I love you sweetie, I always will, no matter what you do." We wept in each others arms for hours, and She showered me with sweet kisses and we discussed how we would spend the rest of our lives together.
Her name is Grace, and she has saved my life, and she will always be my lover.
God Bless
Friday, September 14, 2012
Dear Savannah
Dear Savannah,
I've taken a second to fall back in time
The time when I was yours and you were mine
Memories of long walks holding hands
Sharing stories, songs, and bands
In you I discovered new happiness
And we were the epitome of loveliness
This was the place where our souls found rest
Until the day you did what was best
"Break away, my love. We must grow apart.
Please understand the aching of my heart.
I love you, dear, more than you know,
But for now, my feelings I cannot show."
These words they cut like stone
Breaking my heart, leaving me alone
For months I cried, for months I did mourn
I didn't realized that your heart, too, was torn
For nights I didn't sleep, for nights I did weep
Holding back in fear of living in pain
I lost my morals, I went insane
What I thought was right turned into wrong
I lost beat of our own love song
I went down a path of pain and misery
I lost meaning of the word "cheery"
I eased my pain with anything distracting
God was preparing for my redacting
You were brought back to me
I found love again with thee
I knew it was real what I felt long before
You are so beautiful, I could not ignore
I fell back in love with the ways of the before
I didn't feel worthy, I thought you needed more
I realized how selfish and dirty I was
I found out why I didn't feel worthy, because
I was foolish to think I could change my ways
I surrendered my life to Him for the rest of my days
My heart has never been so happy
I dance every day with my heavenly Daddy
My spirit has found its true love
By grace my home has been moved above
But until the day I sit by my King
My earthly body yearns for what your presents brings
So until the day we're together again
I pray you are happy, and feel less pain
Until the day where I am yours
I promise that my hands, are too, only yours
Other than my heavenly King
You are the only other love for me
Where I am, it is for His will
And where you are, it is for His will
But for the time, where you and I collide
And the day where we stand side by side
That will be the day that I long for
For I love you
And always will
With love,
Ronnie
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Metal And Faith
Dear Brothers And Sisters, One thing you should know about me is that I love heavy music, a lot. From dirty hardcore, to poppy post-hardcore bands, I'm in love with the sound and the talent behind the music. For years several people have come to me saying "That music is from the devil!" or "How could that music be Christian?" I, myself, am getting quite sick of these comments to be honest, but, I need to know for sure that what I'm listening too actually is okay to listen too. After diving into my bible (and Google), I could not find anything referring to yelling being a sin, or, from the devil. Rather I find verses such as "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes" -Romans 1:16 and "Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name" - Hebrews 13:15 After many verses similar to these I've noticed that The General does not have any guidelines as to how to worship, but if what you're saying is edifying and proud and agrees with the word of God then it is praise to God. Some say that the yelling in this sort of music is angry, well, yes, some of it is "angry", i'm not going to deny that, but is there such a thing as righteous anger? Absolutely. Ephesians 4:26-27 says " Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." Jesus Christ himself got angry against the priests who sold merchandise in his church. Many of the Christian Metal/hardcore bands out there are angry against the sins of man, and against the devil, which I don't think is wrong, according to what I've read in the scripture. For Today, Texas in July, and August Burns Red are some heavy bands that proclaim the name of God in a very biblical, worshiping ordain. Some of August Burns Red lyrics sound very similar to the lyrics of a worship song; "I trust in you for life to live, and air to breath./ Purity fills my lungs./ I no longer live in solitude./ No longer bound./ My heart beats with great devotion./ This is the start to a new beginning./ On my knees praying for mercy./ Hands raised high, humble and broken. Wanting your grace./ Wanting your security./ Memories of laying facedown, motionless, with such a hollow feeling inside./ Soon I would end this life I was living./ I am just a man with a heart and sinful hands./ I am a fallen victim./ Lord, show me the way. I ask of you Father, let my words be your words./ Let my thoughts be your thoughts./ To you, I give my praise./ Show me the way. Take me in your arms. Never let me go./ Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you./ Never let me go./ Hold me with your everlasting love." You know why? Because it very much is a worship song, only portrayed in a different form of worship, a different image, not from the devil, just different. Although some metal bands are harmful to the soul, not all metal is bad. God Bless
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
The Abstract Beauty Of Relationships And Dating
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
The idea of dating, and the entire concept of dating that has been spewed by the average american teenager isn't beneficial, nor healthy, in my opinion. Meet, flirt, date, have sex, argue, break up, have a broken heart, and then start the entire process all over again. This process of "dating" doesn't appease me too much... I would much rather a wholesome, satisfying, and long-lasting relationship, wouldn't you? I would think most people would, the question isn't whether or not they want that, the question is, how?
I, personally, don't know how to exactly. I'm not perfect, I don't have the answers, nor should I, but I know someone who does, and I think He will help me attain the wisdom as to what to do when it comes to dating. I've come to conclusion that for me it would be best to wait at least a year before even considering dating a girl. This reason isn't because "girls suck!" or "I'm broke and can't afford it", it is for two reasons, 1) the girl I wanna date is away at college, so that sorta helps, and 2) because I'm not ready spiritually or emotionally.
Me in a relationship can be summed up in four words, "I suck at relationships." I have a habitual sinner, which means I lie, manipulate, and am extremely impatient, I think to some degree all men are. But! I have been completely forgiven by The General, and am free from the sin, doesn't mean I'm not gonna sin anymore though.
My history in dating shows that I have been successful in only relationship, and I've noticed that that relationship was the only relationship that had The General at the focus point of it. All of my other relationships have been focused on self desire, greed, and even to some extent, self image. If the pattern I see is correct, having God at the focus of relationship strengthens, and even extends them.
Now I've recently come to realization that having God at the focus point is important, nontheless, nessicary, but it's a lot harder to do than it is to say you're going to do. That is why I, personally, have decided to take a year and focus on my own relationship with God, strengthen that bond before moving into another one. The fact that the girl I desire to be with is away helps tremendously, but, it is my conviction and what I will do.
God Bless
Monday, September 10, 2012
Acknowledging Ridiculous Freedom Through The General
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
The more I fight against the enemy alongside The General, the more I learn about my position He has placed me in. He is showing me that I can't attain freedom, no matter how hard I try, through virtuous acts of compassion, obedience, or even attainment of freedom by following the ten commandments, although these things are good, they are not a key to gates of unrelenting freedom The General has in store for us. Freedom comes from surrendering your life to The General. The passage of scripture found in Romans 6 deliberately points us into the direction of eternal freedom.
"Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living." -Romans 6:12-18
Saturday, September 8, 2012
The Journey Begins
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I have recently enlisted myself into the army, and have decided it would be beneficial to my comrades to share my battle plans with you, as well as exploiting the spies and enemies that are determined to trick us and manipulate us into joining them. I am determined to be victorious, and to never surrender to the enemy. The ultimate General in this army has sacrificed all He has to give me this position in the army, He even offered up his son's life to simply give me the opportunity to enlist, crazy compassion I tell you!
Although He has promised me peace with his army, He also promises persecution, suffering, pain, and even, earthly death; but hey, I enlisted myself into a war, I shouldn't expect rainbows and butterflies! Besides, it'll be worth it, for once we proclaim victory I'm moving into the General's house, which is greatest house in all the country!
It's actually pretty crazy how I got into the army. I've been on the enemies side for years now, pretending to be on the General's side, but rather serving and doing the enemies ways. The enemy promised me freedom, comfort, and acceptance, what I didn't know was that the General also promises freedom, but much greater freedom, comfort, but much greater comfort, and acceptance, but acceptance from the General himself. The enemy is full of lies!
The enemy introduced me into "lovely gifts", drugs, popularity, independence, and much more. He promised these things would ease my hidden pain of the death of my comrade Josh Stanish. Being without the General, I was deceived into thinking the enemy was right, and that these "gifts" would make my life more comfortable, but in reality, it caused me much misery. I ran away from the quarters, breaking my inmates hearts. I lied, manipulated, stole, hated, and was forever enslaved to the enemies chains, until recently.
You see, the General works in mysterious ways, He persecutes us, not to harm us, but to heal us. He cuts us, not to hurt us, but to touch us. And He breaks us, to make whole what is His. I became broken, I was on the verge on selling my life to the enemy, when the General intervened and offered me to enlist into His army.
The General tells me in His manual that this war will only last for a small time, and that afterwards He will give a huge feast in his quarters. My journey, and battle with The General has just begun, and the war is brutal! I plan on expressing and discussing all that He tells me, and that I learn from his Manual, as well as the words that I hear from him himself. To make myself and my comrades possibly become more equip to defeat the enemy with weapons only the General can give.
I pray that you too will enlist into the Army with me, and join me in this battle. If you're already enlisted, please join me and follow my story as I continue to fight the enemy with The General.
God Bless
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